A common misconception of introverts is that we are shy, reserved, or don’t want friendships. Complete lies. We like people and we can be loud, but interacting with people comes at a a price. While extroverts, even the quiet ones, recharge best around people and the frenzy of groups introverts are drained by others. We recharge away from people and noise. This is totally fine…until you are a young mom who needs sanity. Observe…
Susie would love to have a little friend to play with. Plus, I would love to have a mom-tribe that I can share parenting questions and situations with. Maybe I should try to set up a play date with Jane and her little girl. Jane seems like we would be a good fit.
I text Jane and she asks if we want to meet at her house next Tuesday. I reply back, “sounds great.” Instantly I regret this decision. Now I have to go to a new person’s house. What if they insist that everyone take off their shoes when they enter? Now I have to get a pedicure before Tuesday just in case! Plus, what am I going to talk about? I hate small talk. It wears me out so much! It’s ok. I’m doing this for Susie.
It’s the moment of truth. Tuesday. I don't want to be late so we leave a few minutes early, Susie is babbling away in the backseat and, while I adore her little sounds, the noise is wearing me out already. How long will this playdate last? Nap time is at 1 so worst-case I will have to be there 3 hours. Three hours!?!? That’s a lot of small talk. It’s ok. I’m doing this so I can have mom-friends to text when Susie gets a weird rash at 11pm.
On my way, Jane texts me. A few of her other friends are coming too. She thought it would be “fun” for me to meet a few other moms too. It’s not fun. Very kind. Not fun. Now I’m going to have to carry on small talk with 4 moms instead of one? I wanted a tribe. If I have a tribe it will be worth the emotional exhaustion that comes from small talk…right?!? I’m doing this for Susie. She’ll have a blast. I’m doing this for me. It will be worth it - I think.
Playdate went great! The mom’s were super sweet. I felt awkward, but hopefully I wasn’t too weird. I kept checking my phone for the time; hopefully no on thought I was rude. Susie is tuckered out and napping on the way home. I’m enjoying this quiet.
As soon as we pull into the driveway, Susie wakes up. Of course. Quiet time is over. Those 13 minutes were all the quiet time I’ll get until 9pm. It was worth it though. Right? Having friends is worth this? Susie’s socialization is worth my exhaustion right? Here’s hoping!
It’s been two days. Jane texted me. She says she had so much fun and her daughter can’t stop asking about Susie. She wants to get together next week. This time at the playground. I’m going to let that text linger for a little bit. I need to process and psych myself up. What other social things do I have next week? Will I have time to recoup after? I’ll say yes. I need a mom-tribe and Susie deserves friends. I wish there was a portable charger for introverts.
****Does the word playdate make you cringe a bit? Have you made some great friends through playdates? I have and it’s awesome. What’s your favorite activity you’ve done at a playdate?