I just don't want to

An 8 foot church pew holds 4 loads of clean, unfolded laundry…or at least that’s what I’ve heard. (ahem) My daughter is in the toddler phase of dumping out the entire bucket of “tiny toys” and playing for 2 seconds before moving on leaving me with a trail of blocks, play food, and books. I think I need to just start calling the dust in my house a “collection” because then at least there’d be a reason to have so dang much of it!!!! Basically, I’m a hot mess. I typically have a daily chore schedule that I follow so that my house doesn’t get out of control, but this season just doesn’t allow for a schedule dictated by me. Behind all of this clutter, mess, and laundry there are cookie orders being done (my kitchen is clean!!!!!), blogs being written, speaking engagements being planned, holiday challenges being prepped for social media, children being raised, and the numerous pastor’s wife responsibilities that are unseen but always present.

I’m not complaining. Really, I’m not. I’m just letting you know that I get it. Your exhaustion. Your schedule. Your desire to just go untouched and unneeded for 15 minutes. Your continuous chugging of caffeine to keep functioning until it’s finally time to lump yourself into bed.

There’s times in this season where I just don’t want to. I don’t want to clean. I don’t want to nurture. I don’t want to turn on Elmo one. more. time. I don’t want to have people over. I don’t want to go out for coffee. I don’t want to pick up groceries for someone else. I don’t want to. But my “want to” doesn’t really matter. See, the thing I really do want to do is glorify my Heavenly Father who has given me far more abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20) More than sleeping past 5:30am. More than a clean house. More than not being interrupted by the sound of “Mommy. More than all of these momentary “fixes”, I want to bring honor to my Father. So that means that it doesn’t matter where I land on the “Want-To-O-Meter”; being a good friend brings God glory. Serving others brings God glory. Having coffee with a church member brings God glory. Showing hospitality without complaining brings God glory (1 Peter 4:9)

Don’t miss this though! It’s not the fact that I’m filling my calendar with good deeds that brings Him glory. It is obedience to His command that brings the glory. The Bible clearly tells us that hospitality is expected. Loving on those in need whether the need be physical, emotional or spiritual is when we reflect God’s character. So friend, be encouraged. God is bigger than your “want-to”. He can change your heart; we just have to ask him. When we ask for his eyes to see the needs and his Spirit to give us the “want-to”, we will bring glory to God and see him use us in spectacular ways!